Yes mother I have slept for thirteen hours straight but Jesus slept for three days straight and started a religion so I don’t wanna hear it
What did the cat say to the dog?
cats don’t talk
i hate how they gave sirius prison tattoos in the movies like holy fuck all of the inmates are being kept sedated by dementor-induced depression who the fuck is giving people ink
Dammit dementor jerry is inking them up in the back cells again he has to stop doing this
Did Disney think Floridians were some alien race or something.
Hey, if you accidentally call a guy “daddy” in conversation, just save yourself by adding “-o” to the end and slick your hair back like a 1950’s greaser. And throw on your sick-ass leather jacket
Your thirst is hidden and now you’re the coolest dude in school
people that are in relationships but still flirt with you anyway
pros of turning 18: can legally do the stuff i already do
cons of turning 18: no longer the dancing queen
That moment in your childhood when you realize that Diagon Alley is just the word diagonally….
And the Mirror of Erised is just the word desire backwards.
Didn’t even realize. Does that mean Knockturn Alley is nocturnally (dark/night)?
Yes, and Grimmauld Place is a play on grim old place.
And Dumbledore is just a dumb old door
Today I got into an argument with my Aunt because she was upset that her daughter was dating a girl so I said
"Do you really think you should fall in love with someone’s genitals over their soul? Because that’s shallow and sad"
And my 75 year old grandmother who was sitting in her rocking chair, and who hasn’t said a word for the past hour screamed “OH BURN” and hit my aunt with a fly swatter